Fill Their Cups

Earlier this week, I was tucking Big Brother into bed and we were having our nightly recap where he tells me all of his “favorites” for that day. He had been especially sweet, helpful, and kind to his brother this particular day and as I pulled his covers up to his face, I whispered, “I am SO proud of you.”

I wish I would have had a recording of his face. He beamed. His face lit up and he looked as if he had been given the greatest gift in the world.

“Words of Affirmation” is one of my major love languages (second only to “quality time”), so I typically think I do a pretty good job of affirming others since I know how important such words are to me. But seeing Big Brother’s face light up this way reminded me of how intentional I must be with my words.

I can use my words to fill others up…or use them as a drain.

Every word leaves an impact, either positively or negatively

It is my choice how I use my words.

To build up or tear down.

To encourage or discourage.

I want to choose today and every day to use my words to fill the cups of others, especially my children.

I want them to know how much they are loved.

Our children need to know that they are a treasure:  to us and to God. Let’s fill their cups.

 

11 Comments

  1. So true! Last week my brother “said” (all via text and instant messaging) some very hurtful, mean things. Our relationship will never be the same again. It’s more than words, it’s also his actions and attitude (both are very negative right now.) I think by speaking positively about others in front of our children teaches them how to treat those around them, as well.

  2. I need this reminder for speaking to my husband. Some days I think I give all my loving to my son and just kill my husband with my tongue.

  3. I agree. You put it so beautifuly . I bet he beamed because you did too. When my children get along and are kind to each other, it is my favorite thing. Thanks for the little reminder to praise them lavishly.

  4. I agree. That’s for writing it. I just wrote a blog about being more present with our children and becoming aware of the parenting reactions and habits that we learned from childhood and incorporated into practice. I’m ready, Parenting from the Inside Out. It is a great book if anyone is interested.
    Sincerely, Jamie
    http://parentingathomemamas.blogspot.com/

  5. I have worked as a teachers aid for special ed program for many years. One of the elementary schools I worked at had the theme,”Be a Bucket Filler!!”, it was the same premise, and a fantastic one!! The first year the school ran the theme, bullying went down with the 4th and 5th graders. The school decided to run it again the next year and the year after, not only in the elementary, but the middle school as well. (The middle (6-8) and elementary (K-5) schools were attached and overseen by the same Principal.) In those years, the bullying decreased incredibly! They have since continued the theme for 10 years now! In that time, the need for detentions and suspensions due to bullying and fighting have dropped a staggering 80%!!!

  6. I love the Love Languages books. But I think that no matter whether your love language is words of affirmation or not, EVERYONE needs encouragement. Meg’s ‘evidence’ shows that.

    Doesn’t it take 9 positive words to sway the effects of 1 negative word? Stopping and thinking before we talk is the biggest hindrance to what comes out of our mouths. If we did this more often, words of encouragement would quickly outnumber the negative things that seem to so easily ooze out.

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