A Lesson Learned: Pride

I’ve never really considered myself a prideful person. But as I was listening to the sermon at our church two Sundays ago, I was suddenly convicted that for most of my life…I have really struggled with pride. I grew up in a Christian home, was obedient to my parents and made relatively good decisions in high school and college (didn’t drink, do drugs, etc). When Prince Charming and I started dating, we were both committed to purity. Then we got married. I finished college, got my “dream job” as a first grade teacher, won a couple of awards for teaching, and then got my Master’s degree. All of these decisions have been grounded in my faith in God, but if I am absolutely honest with myself, I’m not sure I can say that I sought the help of God.

And then I became a mother.

After leaving my job teaching 25 six-year olds, I figured taking care of my own kid(s) would be a piece of cake. Apparently, I was in for a rude awakening.

This is by far, the hardest job I’ve ever had (and I’m not just saying that as some cliche). By the end of each day, I am physically and emotionally exhausted (but it is still the most amazing, wonderful job as well)  Besides feeding, diapering, and making my children nap, I also feel this enormous weight of responsibility…knowing that Prince Charming and I are going to be held accountable to God for how we raised these children! And I worry all.the.time…about their safety, nutrition, health, potential spider bites, future career paths, whether they’ll still be throwing these tantrums when they’re 25…!

But you know what? God has called me here for a purpose and I believe that one of those purposes is to show me that I need him. I’ve tried being dependent on myself for energy, patience, and kindness and I can tell you…it’s not working. I no longer have pride or confidence in myself. After all, God says He hates pride (Proverbs 8:13).

So, I’ve had an epiphany. The only thing that I should be confident is God’s ability to work through me.  On my own, I’m pretty lousy. I fall short. I get tired and feel low. I scream at my kid. I take things out on my husband. I neglect to serve others. I don’t call a friend who I know could use a call. I have a bad attitude about teaching a class at church. I get angry. I am selfish. I am downright sinful.

But thankfully, this doesn’t have to be who I am.  God is waiting for me to cry out to Him. He wants to help me.

So my prayer the minute I wake up every morning is for God to give me HIS patience, HIS compassion, and HIS love.

And guess what? It’s been working! The past two weeks have been AMAZING! I’ve enjoyed the time with my boys. God has blessed us with the sunshine and beautiful temperatures (I’m convinced that we just need to go to the park everyday and all our behavior issues will be solved). We’ve spent hours outside. We’ve laughed and we’ve had fun together. Of course we’ve had small battles and “hiccups”, but God has been faithful in answering my prayer by giving me the patience to handle them with love. God is good! I’m so glad He’s showing me just how much I need him to be in control of my life…every minute of every day!

“Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” -1 Cor. 10:17

Lord, I’m boasting in you!!! 

9 Comments

  1. I understand, completely! Your words touched me because I understand so completely. God can and does use us to accomplish His purpose. Thank you for being so open and sharing your heart!

  2. Thanks for this encouragement and reminder, Jenae. I, too, thought that staying home with my kids would be a piece of cake after teaching middle school–it's not. But, it's been the most amazing (and humbling) job I have ever had. It is a huge responsibility and one that does bring us to our knees. Thanks again for your thoughts!

  3. Oh Jenae I can't even tell you how much this blog has touched my heart!! I too thought that being a stay at home mom was going to be easy! I had no idea how hard it really was! I am so grateful I get to stay home with Josie- but my goodness!! I get up each morning and have to pray a similar prayer. Patience is not a virtue of mine and I struggle big time with it! Thank you so much for sharing on your blog!!!

  4. Your post resonated with me in so many ways. Our lives sound so much alike…I just have yet to become a mother though. Thanks for the encouragement to pray to God each morning for His patience and love for my husband and for my 22 first graders!

  5. Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    .
    Blessed are those who mourn,
    For they shall be comforted.
    .
    Blessed are the meek,
    For they shall inherit the earth.
    .

  6. Wow, thank you for this post! Yes, I needed to hear this now! Wow, God knew I needed this just right this moment, I'm giving myself some time out right now while my husband is with my kids before he leaves for work. I didn't have great morning so, thank you, Father, for using Jenae to reach out to me to turn to God and ask Him for HIS patience, not mine. Thank you! It's going to be a better day now!

  7. Thank you for this post! I feel like I could relate to almost every word! Last night I prayed that I would just be able to ENJOY my little oens today, rather than stressing out about everything. It wasn't a perfect day, but it was a great one!

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