How to Stop Sibling Fighting

Stop sibling fighting with a jump ball (just like in basketball)



 

The thing about my kids getting older is that they have opinions…at times, strong opinions. Although I love that they are becoming more and more independent and freely asserting themselves, when these opinions clash it pretty much feels like World War III (not to be confused with World War Z …no zombies here …although I sometimes feel like one). ;)

 

In order to stop sibling fighting and remedy the clash of the titans that happens pretty much daily in our home due to such horrible circumstances like not being to decide which TV show to watch or which board game to play,  we created a new system:

 

Jump Ball.

 

Yep, just like in basketball…only applicable in every other area of life as well.

 

Here’s how it works…

 

IMG_2720

 

I have written both boys’ names on a piece of card stock and put it on the refrigerator. Each day, the clothespin is switched to the other child’s name (once Baby Girl gets old enough, her name will be on there as well).

 

When they can’t make a mutual decision on something, we call a jump ball.  The child whose name is touching  the clothespin gets to make the decision for that day:  which board game to play, which movie to watch, which lunch to eat (because I refuse to make two different lunches for both kids–I either don’t give them an option or they must agree on something they will both eat). The clothespin is then placed on the other child’s name the next day.

 

(Obviously, this method isn’t appropriate for every situation and we still have the right to exercise parental authority when we see fit, but it is definitely helpful for the little things.)

 

I first thought about naming it Kid-of-the-Day. But when I was telling Prince Charming about my idea, he replied, “Oh, kind of like a jump ball…where the team with the arrow gets the ball and then the arrow switches.”

 

Exactly.

 

Here’s to a summer with less bickering!!!

 

 

What is your go-to method to keep your children from bickering?

25 Comments

  1. I use a similar method… odd day/even day. One kiddo has a birthday on an even day & one on an odd day. :)

  2. Love this! We are just getting to a point where sometimes they even choose opposites just because they don’t want to choose the same thing!!

    1. Yep, that’s exactly what is going on around here too. Ugh! Hopefully this will help remedy the problem at your house too. :)

  3. What a good idea for the prek classroom as well….sometimes 6 kids (random #) want a turn with something and I don’t have time (or patience) to sit and keep track of who’s next. I can just move the clip or assign a teacher’s helper to do that….of course there will likely be bickering about who gets to do that job as well :)

  4. This is an interesting concept. I’m curious if you find that the kid who gets the “jump ball” that day has less of an incentive to problem solve/work through issues/etc. with a sibling because he knows he will get to make the decision in the end. I think my 5 year old and 3 year old would quickly figure this out and it might incentivize them not to work things out in order to get their way. Have you found this to be the case?

    1. So far this hasn’t been much of an issue (for us, anyway). We still encourage problem solving and compromise, but if we (the parents) have to “call” a jump ball…it is a last resort. They typically keep track themselves without us having to get involved. It has definitely minimized the arguing because each of the boys know that they will eventually get a turn to choose (tomorrow). Most of the time they don’t really care about the given issue, they just want to feel like they are heard and can be part of the decision making process. Knowing that they will have an opportunity either today or tomorrow seems to validate their feelings. :)

  5. I have been doing the same thing for over a year now with a magnet for each of my kids’ initials that we stick to the fridge. It has worked wonders!!!

  6. Great idea! My 5 & 3 year olds are constantly disagreeing over something. I’ll have to try this out!

  7. Very helpful. In our home regarding toys and sharing we have a 15 min rule. If a child wants a toy that someone else has they have to call 15 min. rule then the child who is playing with the toy at that time has to share the toy in 15 min. Most of the time the child with the toy will share the toy before their 15 min limit is up. Works most of the time.

  8. we have a similar method to who gets to go first in the bathroom in the morning. We have names assigned to the calendar and it rotates back and forth (I have 2 kids, boy and girl). So this way they can look at the calendar and there is not guessing because yesterday she went first so today he goes. We save Sunday for whoever gets dressed first.

  9. I have absolutely NO tips so seeing a post like this made me jump for joy.

    (Though knowing our kids they would switch the clothespin just to see if we would notice!)

    1. I am also concerned about clip switching. My oldest son likes to instigate fights with his brother and can be very sneaky about it. I love this idea but I am trying to think of away to keep from becoming something that will cause a fight. If anyone comes up with an idea please share it with me!

      1. You could do the name on the days of a calendar thing (mentioned above, for the bathroom), with permanent marker, so he can’t change them. Or the odd/even day. He can’t change the date. ;)

  10. We do the odd/even thing too. It determines who gets to be first on the bus, who gets the #1 Wii controller, who gets to put the envelope in the offertory basket at church.

    I have 2 girls who will almost ALWAYS choose differently — just to be contrary. And I am NOT having a third child just to be the tie breaker.

  11. This can also work on older twinnies…by giving them the choice on either the odd or even day of the week. Who ever was born first is odd and second born is even. Then on days that end with the same odd or even numbers gets to choose for the both of them…or gets first choice.

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