One of the desires of this mother’s heart has always been that my two children, daughter and son, would love each other deeply, protectively and grow close in relationship.
Most of you reading this no doubt share that same desire for your own little ones. How, as moms, do we foster relationship in our children and water our good intentions into actual growth? Can it even be done? Or is sibling rivalry a forgone conclusion?
I am here to tell you genuine relationship between siblings is attainable and it is even sweeter than I ever imagined it would be.
Prayer, that’s where your mom heart needs to begin. Pray that God would strengthen the bond between your children.
Intentional relationship building that would be the next step. Create opportunities for your children to bond with each other, without you being in the center of it.
So many times as moms we want to be a part of what our little ones do and we mistakenly insert ourselves in areas that actually inhibit their interdependence. Look for opportunities for your children to have together moments without you and foster that “special” relationship between just them.
When they have had time together resist the urge to ask lots of questions, don’t attempt to know all their conversations and secrets. Allow them to have a part of their relationship that belongs only to them.
CHRISTmas has always been one of those opportunities in our home. From the time our children were very young, their instructions on Christmas Eve have been that whomever wakes up first is to go to the other’s room and together they are to wait until 7:00 a.m. to come wake us up.
The whispers, giggles and conversations have filtered down the hallway through the years and that has been a beautiful way to wake up CHRISTmas morning.
CHRISTmas mornings are not the only time my two have been observed sharing experiences together. I have seen glimpses of deep thoughts, kind words, frustrations, tears, laughter, challenging of thought and deed, encouragement…they have a fondness for each other that is palpable.
Many have asked me about their genuine like of each other. It’s quite sweet.
She is now 19, he 16 and they seek each other out, go out together, entertain each others friends together, experience life together. It’s not perfect – yes, they have always and still do fuss at each other and get aggravated with each other. But because they have built a relationship, the tensions too have been a rich learning ground on how to forgive, adjust and move on.
At times I have been almost jealous of their relationship, but wisdom trumps self and I recognize that they will hopefully carry each other through life’s trials and triumphs long after I am gone. And each is better prepared for the spouse we have been praying for – they have learned to process with, fuss and forgive someone they love.
Moms…I sweetly suggest to you that if this is something you have not been mindful of maybe this CHRISTmas can be the beginning of a new tradition that will carry with it the beginnings of a life long bond that will strengthen character and teach real relationship.
That’s a CHRISTmas tradition worth starting…don’t you think?
Please share times where you have witnessed love and caring between your children in the comments!
Tracey Eyster is the happily in love wife of Bill and the fun-filled mom of two teens. She is devoted to her family and is happiest when making memories with them. In 2008 she took her passion for speaking into the lives of moms and created the ministry of MomLife Today. She is passionate about momlife and is amazed at God’s blessing of allowing her first book Be The Mom to come to fruition. She enjoys connecting with moms through her personal blog at www.bethemom.com, and on Facebook or Twitter @MomBlog.