A Lesson on Empathy: Talking with your child about the tsunami
I’ve debated whether or not to talk to Big Brother about the tsunami. We never have the TV on when the boys are awake (unless Big Brother is watching a kid-appropriate video), so it isn’t like he would “accidentally” see something on the news about it. Plus, he already has a lot of fears and I didn’t want it to give him something else to be scared about.
But when reflecting upon the “It’s All About Me” attitude and not wanting my children to think this way, I decided it was a good opportunity to teach empathy. Young children are naturally so tender-hearted and don’t like seeing people hurt. Telling them about how a disaster abroad has affected kids like him provides an opportunity for him to think of others.
Just a word of warning…don’t talk to your child about this unless you yourself are ready to act on the actions their tender hearts call them to do (within reason).
I chose a few pictures to show Big Brother and walked him through (extremely vaguely) what happened:
As you may have noticed, we didn’t talk about death. I wasn’t ready to have that “talk” yet…especially without the reinforcements of Prince Charming.
After we talked about this, I asked Big Brother what he thought about what happened.
He said, “They could have my house!”
We then talked about what we could do to help them: “Give them some of my food, some of my yogurt (his favorite thing to eat in the whole world), my chairs, and my tables. We could send them some of my books. They’re can take all of my books.”
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| He emptied his entire bookshelf and wanted to send all the books to Japan! |
We decided to pack some “goodies” in a shoebox and chose one book to include. We also put in some shampoo, toilet paper, toothpaste, etc.
The problem is, nobody wants care packages. They just want cash donations. I completely understand their reasoning, but a cash donation isn’t a tangible act for a three-year old. After lots and lots of searching, I found a forum where a soldier indicated care packages could be sent this way:
When my oldest was 3 weeks shy of turning 4… the horrible day of 9/11 happened. I will always remember laying in bed with him watching Barney on PBS and having it come across the tv about everything that would unfold that day! Him himself noticed that there were no planes in the sky for days after. I explained to him that they could not fly right now. Well that day is still etched in his mind 10 years later! Because of that day he has a great love for history, the military and most of all the love for the USA!
The Presbyterian Church Disaster Assistance Program has pre-set kits that they accept for use in disaster areas. Here's the link for their kits: http://gamc.pcusa.org/ministries/pda/making-gift-heart-kits/ and here's the link for the updates of their work in Japan right now: http://gamc.pcusa.org/ministries/pda/japan/
It's an outlet for tangible gifts if you're so inclined.
Hi Jenae, I think this is a great idea. I know you can send thigns to the LDS church Humanitarian Center. Here's a link about what they need right now: http://www.ldsphilanthropies.org/humanitarian-services/patterns/service-project-guidelines.pdf
I also wrote about what my sister and their neighbors did here, which might be helpful: http://babybrainstorm.blogspot.com/2011/04/teaching-children-to-serve-others.html
Janice @ Baby Brainstorm
Thank you so much for this post. After the earthquake in Hati last year, we had a similar talk with our daughter. She had lots of ideas of things to give (like a care package). I looked around and could find nowhere to take one to! Everyone wanted cash. I, too, understood why, but my little girl wanted to do something and we couldn't find a way for her to help. So, I've hesitated bringing up the tsunami and what we can do. I will definitely look into this!
Thank you so much! I didn't really know if and how to talk about this too so I appreciate your work in putting this together!
Stephanie
These are excellent concrete examples – thank you so much.
I also posted on how to help your kids cope with disaster and included a step by step visual for folding paper cranes with them – there's also info. on a wonderful program that's donating $2 (up to $200,000) for ever crane received from students world-wide. You can see it here:
http://www.modernparentsmessykids.com/2011/04/paper-crane-tutorial-to-help-your.html
You are doing a wonderful thing. We didn't really talk too much about what has happened in Japan.