There are two lies that us women have been tricked into believing that are especially detrimental to our feelings of inadequacy and a lack of self-worth. These lies are:
- We can do everything well.
- We can make everyone like us and approve of us.
These lies were recently brought to my attention as I was reading a chapter from
Feathers from My Nest by Beth Moore. The reason these lies are so dangerous is because they make us feel as if nothing we do is
ever good enough. We can always do better and we can always please
everyone.
Let’s just nip these two lies in the bud before they form another stronghold in any of our lives. This week I’ll talk about the first lie and next week we’ll look at the second…
We can’t do everything well. No matter how hard we try…we will never be good at everything.
I have been keenly aware of this lie from childhood. I had one friend who seemed to be good at everything, she was artistically gifted, great at crafts, a terrific athlete, and beautiful beyond belief. I always felt inferior because I wasn’t really good at any of those things…so I expounded tons and tons of energy and trying aimlessly to become someone I wasn’t.
Even now, I have struggled with feelings of not measuring up. I have amazing talented friends and family members who each have a particular strength (or two or three) that I desperately wish I had. Some who are great at decorating, who are amazing mothers with the unending patience, whose thoughtfulness of others exceeds anyone I’ve ever known, and others who are great at entertaining and making you feel special. I want all of those gifts.
But God didn’t create us to compare to one another. He created us with a special, unique purpose that only we can fulfill. Finding that purpose is between us and God. Period. No one else needs to be involved (except perhaps our immediate family) in figuring out what God’s purpose is for our lives and how we can best use the spiritual gifts He’s given us. And we certainly don’t need to look at the gifts of others to try to find our own. They are given to us by God himself.
“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.” -1 Corinthians 12:4-11
Our main objective should be to figure out what gift(s) God has given us and use them to His glory. We won’t be good at everything. God doesn’t call us to be. He wants us to spend our time and energy accomplishing the purposes He has set out for us to do rather than comparing our gifts to the gifts He’s given others.
Now, please don’t misinterpret me and think that we should use this as an excuse. Just because your “gift” isn’t cleaning, doesn’t mean you can let your house go to pot. :) We still need to fulfill our “duties.” We just don’t need to expound any more energy trying to be someone we’re not. Rather, we can fine-tune our strengths to fulfill our God-given destinies.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” -Philippians 1: 9-11
None of us will be able to “discern what is best” for us without seeking the counsel of our Savior. Let’s ask Him and see if He’ll make each of our “gifts” known to us so that we may make it our heart’s desire to “do” those gifts well.
Thank you so much for these kind, positive words! You are speaking to my soul today! :)
What a great post!
I love you Jenae and thank you for what you said this morning! I am thankful you are my friend.
What a fabulous post! It also helps when we know that we aren’t alone, that others are going through the exact same thing…so it’s not just us!
Yes, amen, absolutely! Thank you for this today…it IS great to know that these are feelings common to other mums, especially when most of the time I am alone and w/o adult interaction! God bless :)
Wow, thank you for sharing that. I think I need to buy that book! I was an elementary school teacher for 3 years before I had my daughter 17 months ago and felt God calling me to stay home. I have always struggled with both of those lies but find them creeping up even more now that I stay-at-home. I appreciate your words of encouragement!
Oh how I love this post! Thank you for sharing these words. I will need to look up the Beth Moore book. You are so right that it is a constant battle (at least for me) that I want everyone to approve of me and like me. Just today in church I realized that it doesn’t matter what someone else’s opinion of me is. As long as I have acted and lived to please God and make HIM happy, then why waste my time worrying about what Jane Doe says about me? Jane Doe doesn’t matter.
Amen and amen sister! We have to remember that we are accountable to what He has called us to do…nothing more, nothing less. This includes the area of homeschooling. I have several friends who have confided in me that they feel like “less” of a mom because they are not homeschooling. It is amazing to me what tools the enemy uses to discourage women. Thank you for reminding all of us of His Truth.
beautiful post… so true! thanks for sharing!
AMEN!!! \o/
This is something I learned not that long ago. I think this story summurizes it nicely. I can’t wait to read the next part. Thanks!!!!!!
It’s Monday morning and I’ve got multiple hats on including the added bonus of nurse this morning to my family.
Thank you. Thank you for this post.
I really needed this reminder.
Hugs.
Thank you, sweet lady. I was just talking about this the other day. I feel like I can do a lot of things well but often feel freakish about it. Then, when I can’t do something, I get easily frustrated. Glad to know that I am not alone.
I’m not sure how many of you are involved in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). The theme verse for their year is
2 Timothy 1:7 God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.
Use gifts for his glory! We’ve all been gifted in different ways. Be encouraged!
I am learning that if you can create a support group of other women, between you and the other women, together you CAN be good at everything! :) But notice that it is only TOGETHER. An example is my friend and I who swap tutoring for house cleaning. I hate cleaning the house, and I’m not particularly good at it (having small children might be part of that – I can tidy up, but mop floors? HA!) and her 8-year-old daughter struggles with math, and she doesn’t know how to help her daughter. She cleans houses for a living and enjoys it, so we swap – I tutor her daughter in math, and she deep cleans my house a few times each month. Now I feel like I am “good” at housekeeping (even though I’m not actually the one doing it) and she feels like she can teach her daughter math (even though she isn’t actually the one doing the teaching).
I like that you said “But God didn’t create us to compare to one another. He created us with a special, unique purpose that only we can fulfill.” – but I’d like to say it goes even further than just fulfilling our purpose – it is about working with others of his children to make “perfection” together. There is something really special about combining our gifts with the gifts of others to be more than we can be alone. God wants us to rely on others, and to serve and love each other, and I think there is nothing that allows us to do that more than understanding (and using) our strength and understanding (and accepting help in) our weaknesses.
OH MAN! That couldn’t have come at a better time! Have you been watching me? ;0 )
Can’t wait to read the next one!
Hi Tabby, thanks so much for your comment. Part two is already up! Here’s the link: https://www.icanteachmychild.com/2011/08/a-lesson-learned-the-lies-part-2/