Finding Triumph in the Midst of Tragedy: Kelly’s Story
Today we are starting a new series titled “Finding Triumphs in the Midst of Tragedies.” As someone who has experienced a loss, I can tell you that it is often hard to find the “triumphs” when you are knee deep in a tragedy. I am constantly reassured by Romans 8:28, however: Â “And in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” God can still work wonders in the midst of our despair. These stories were carefully penned by some very brave women. They are raw and heart-wrenching. But I hope you will find encouragement by reading how God was able to bring triumphs out of even the most unthinkable of tragedies.
Guest Post by Kelly of Elise’s Honor
On April 6, 2009, my fourth child, a little girl, was stillborn at 36 weeks gestation. She had her umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck 5 times as well as a knot in it. It never once crossed my mind that my baby could die inside of me at almost full term. I had no idea what to do, how to feel or how to go on. But I had 3 other children at home who needed me. I fumbled through those first few months just trying to function and trying to make sense of what had happened. I don’t know that it will ever “make sense”.
In the 2 years since this tragedy for myself and my family, I have become very vocal about the frequency and devastation caused by pregnancy loss. My hope is to create awareness and comfort others in similar situations.
Each year in the United States almost 30,000 babies are lost to stillbirth (death of an infant in-utero after 20 gestational weeks). That is 1 in 115 deliveries is a “still” baby, over 90 babies EVERY SINGLE DAY. Most stillborn babies are at or near full term. Another 500,000 are lost to miscarriage (death of an infant in-utero before 20 gestational weeks) each year. The majority of babies lost during pregnancy are completely healthy. There are no identifiable risk factors for stillbirth and it cuts across all socio-economic classes, races, religions, body types and maternal age groups.
October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month as proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan in 1988. Specifically, October 15th was declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day by Congress in House Concurrent Resolution # 222 in 2006. This year, in observance of that date, I will be hosting a family dinner at a local restaurant for all families who have been touched by pregnancy loss. On this evening they will be able connect with other families who have experienced similar losses and celebrate the child they never knew. I have spent the entire summer contacting businesses with my story and asking for donations to be used for a raffle that evening. All proceeds raised from “Elise’s Honor Pregnancy Loss Event” will be donated to First Candle, the nation’s leading organization committed to safe pregnancies and infant health and survival.
In addition to this event, I am a volunteer leader for a “Face 2 Face” group in my area that brings together people who share a deep common bond, the death of a child. I am also a support group moderator for a local mom’s group for their grief forum.
Once my event is over, I will be partnering with my local hospital to help raise awareness and funds to directly benefit their Perinatal Bereavement Support Group.
In short, I have made it my mission to educate the public about pregnancy loss and support those affected by it in some way or another.
You can visit Kelly over at her blog Elise’s Honor.
My mom lost a daughter to stillbirth (cord wrapped around neck multiple times) at 7 1/2 months. What a heartbreaking experience.
I too lost my baby, I am sorry for your loss…Isn’t it amazing how AIDS and breast cancer have so much money donated to find a cure yet (not that I think they shouldn’t) yet it seems everyone tries to keep stillbirths ESP due to UCA’s quiet? It jsut amazes me…
I can’t be there in person but if you need any help at all please let me know..I feel since we lost ours that I am meant to find a way to help others.
BTW thank you Jenae for this series, as it is hard to find others that have gone through this and I think and hope it blesses many that are feeling alone right now.
Kelly thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you so much for the ways you have found to make a difference in the lives of others who suffer from loss. Jenae is my oldest daughter. My first born son Brian also had the cord wrapped around his neck five times and we almost lost him at birth. We were blessed by his precious life for nineteen years and I am so thankful for the time we had with him. Once again thanks for sharing your story, as I am sure it will encourage many young women who have experienced loss.
Hi and thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been a labor and delivery nurse for 10+ years and will never get “used to” this loss of such a miraculous life. I can only hope and pray that your nurses and doctor were amazing or supportive at the very least. People can say and do the stupidest things in their own attempt to cope… I thank you for using such a hard experience in your life for good. Also, I hope you know of them, but “As I Lay Me Down To Sleep” has been an awesome and supportive organization that offers free photography-very tasteful and beautiful- of the baby to help the families heal. I wish you the best….
Thank you all for your kind words. I am truly blessed to be able to share my story. I can’t thank Jenae enough for supporting “the cause” and allowing me share my sweet angel in such an amazing place. (I just love her blog!) I am continually amazed at how prevalent stillbirth is and yet how little people talk about it, which is exactly why I try to talk about it every chance I get! Thank you again to everyone who has listened to my story by reading it and to those of you who have expressed your support!