Book Club for Moms: Week 1

This week we started a brand new book:  Be the Mom by Tracey Eyster. Within pages, I already identified with Tracey’s described role as a mother–the highs, the lows, and everything in between!

Chapter 1:

My entry into motherhood was quite different than Tracey’s–Rather than waiting and wishing for a child as Tracey and her husband did, our first child was a major surprise! My husband and I had just started talking about when we might want to start a family…which we planned on not being for another year or two. I was in the middle of finishing my Master’s degree and thoroughly enjoying my position as a first grade teacher. When I found out I was pregnant, it took a while for the shock to wear off and to start to enjoy the thought of a little one growing inside of me! Within a few days, though, I was already head-over-heels for that sweet baby!

The following chapters of the book share the different “traps” that moms can easily fall prey to if we aren’t careful. Needless to say, I think I have identified with most of these traps at one time or another in my momlife, but the trap described in Chapter 2 is often the most debilitating for me.

Chapter 2:

In this chapter, Tracey describes what she calls the “Just a Mom” trap. The tell-tale sign that this trap has taken us victim is when we start to believe that our role as a mom is somehow inferior to any other endeavor we pursue.

Feelings of insecurity have frequently been a struggle for me in my life. After I began teaching, I finally felt confident in myself and my ‘purpose’. Perhaps it was the awards, accolades, and affirmation I received from others–but I rarely questioned myself as a teacher. Once I decided to stay home with Big Brother full-time, those feelings of insecurity and self-doubt slowly began creeping back into my life. After Little Brother was born, I felt like I was being full-on assaulted by them. I constantly doubted myself, feeling inadequate in my ability to be the kind of mother my children deserved. I still feel this way frequently, though not nearly as strongly as I did back then.

I loved the following quotes from this chapter:

“However humble many mom tasks might be, we are molding the future, and there is nothing “just” about our role as moms.” -p. 7

“Your value as a mother is unsurpassed. You haven’t lost yourself; you’ve found who you were destined to become. You’ve been given lives to mold and an opportunity to prepare your children for the future. There is nothing “just a mom” about you.” -p. 18

 

Chapter 3:

I’ve found myself identifying with yet another trap I can easily fall prey to in my life:  The “Me Mom” Trap. I continually struggle with selfishness and self-centeredness in my life…and sometimes my wants and needs can even be put ahead of those of my family (as embarrassing as it is to admit). I love the thought of trying to keep tabs on the number of times I say “I” throughout the day. I think that will really help keep myself in check!

This chapter also reminded me a lot of our last book club book selection:  Cleaning House. I have gotten much better at allowing and encouraging my children to help with household tasks without expecting “perfection”, but there are some things that I am still holding on to that I want done “my way”. When I let go of my control and enabling tendencies, I am also teaching my child that THEY are capable and responsible enough to handle the task I have asked them to do.

 

Next Week’s Assignment:  Read Chapters 4 and 5.  

 

Do you have any questions for the author? Leave a question in the comments and we’ll choose a few to have Tracey respond to in next week’s post!

 

What did you think about this week’s reading? Leave a comment or link up your post below!

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3 Comments

  1. I would have posted last Sunday but I’ve had a lot going on. I am thoroughly enjoying this book. I, too, struggle some with the “Me Mom” trap. Lately, more so. I am part time at work but have had to work more the past 3 months due to 2 co-workers transferring to other jobs. My husband works for himself and usually when I am off. That way we have not needed daycare or babysitters. We have actually had to have my parents keep her some recently so my husband could work. I would probably ask them more but my Dad has Leukemia (diagnosed since 1999) and has several dr. appts. Our daughter is 5 1/2 and I am beginning to homeschool her for Kindergarten next week. After struggling with infertility for 20 years, God placed adoption on our hearts and we brought our daughter home from China in 2008 at 14 months of age. We feel very blessed. With so much going on right now I am trying not to be too hard on my daughter and husband. My husband and daughter do help out some at home. It is not always how I would want it done but I am trying to adjust and appreciate the help. I don’t want everything to be about me but about us as a family. Does the author have any more suggestions on this subject? Thank you.

  2. i don’t have the book yet. can’t wait to start reading it. I’m definitely in a mom trap at the moment and need to get out of it. Amazon just got it back in so will be ordering it asap!

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