Book Club for Moms: Week 2
Our assignment last week was to read Chapters 4, 5 & 6. The farther along I get into this book, the more these two things come to mind:
(1): Most of the examples she gives are beyond the capabilities of my 4 1/2 and 2 1/2-year old sons.
(2): High expectations for working in the home need to be set during the preschool years (maybe even toddler years). This way, it becomes a routine and behavior that a parent can slowly build on.
Obviously, I can’t send my 4-year old to get a job outside of the house (which is what Chapter 4 was all about). However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t begin encouraging a hard work ethic now (and perhaps even have him do small things for family members or close friends in the years to come to get experience of doing work/service for someone else). Perhaps then we won’t be receiving quite as much pushback and frustration that the children, tweens, and teens in the Wyma family are experiencing. Here’s to hoping, anyway! :)
The chapter on learning to clean bathrooms (Chapter 5) resonated with me because I honestly don’t think I had ever learned to clean a bathroom (well, anyway) until after we were married and had a house of our own. My mom was and is an amazing mother and would do anything for her children…but I think that perhaps I allowed her to do a little bit too much for me and didn’t take more responsibility while living in my parent’s home.
With that being said, Chapter 7 reminded me of a friend of my husband’s work that stayed in our home a few times last fall (for just one night at a time). I was always so impressed whenever I would go into the room after he had left. Before he left our home, he stripped the sheets off the bed in the guest bedroom and then made the bed (which literally has 16 pillows on it…I just counted). I was so impressed and remember telling him, “No one has ever stayed in our home that has left the room looking immaculate like you did…you even remembered to take the sheets off the bed!” He quickly replied, “My mom made sure I knew how to be a guest in someone’s house…and she also made me start doing all of my laundry when I was 13.”
That’s how I want our boys to be. I want them to be thoughtful of others, especially when they are staying in someone else’s home. I want them to know how to do laundry well before they get married…not just because it’s a skill that everyone should know, but also because it is an act of service and humility to do such menial jobs as laundry and cleaning a bathroom.
When we teach our kids to take responsibility for jobs that need to be done around the house, we are teaching them to take pride in what they have. We are teaching them that they are certainly not too good to scrub toilets and sort laundry! And we’re teaching them that even a successful person must
With a little inspiration from this book and some brainstorming about morning routines (especially with school quickly approaching), I came up with something that has worked wonders for Big Brother. This is the first of many habits I hope to instill…but I’ll share more about that tomorrow! Stay tuned!
Your assignment for next week: Read Chapters 7, 8 and 9.
What did you think about this week’s reading? Leave a comment or link up below!
[field name=embed]
I’m also feeling that some of the ideas are too much for my family, but definitely seeing that I need to set the bar high and help them reach that high bar if I want the kids to grow up out of my home as responsible people. As soon as my kids move into a twin bed, I have them start making their beds. It’s not always pretty in the early years, but now 3/4ths of my kids make a beautiful bed almost every single day without asking. As I hear my friends speak of making their tween’s beds or just leaving them, I am SO thankful for the diligence that was really hard for me to “allow” (the messy beds in the beginning!)
I also feel that some of the tasks would be hard to maintain during the school year with my 4 kiddos and their activities, family time AND early bedtime. I’ve decided to implement some of these mainly on weekends or 1x a month for each child…to get a pattern and to at least do something.
The book is still inspiring! :)
While a lot of these ideas may not apply to my 5 1/2 year old daughter just yet, it is giving me food for thought for the near future. Since she is our only child she is spoiled a little when it comes to things she wants. She uses my i-pad more than I do (mostly because she just happens to always have it) and she loves playing games on it. They aren’t always free so I decided this week if she wants game app (prices are usually from .99 to 3.99) she can start doing extra chores besides the ones that are expected of her to earn them. She has agreed so we’ll see how it works. As for cleaning the bathrooms and doing the laundry I do plan to have her help with those chores when I think she is old enough. She helps me fold clothes and put them away now. These are all jobs that everyone should know how to do, not only because kids should help around the house and do their part, but also to be self sufficient and not have to depend on anyone when they are older.
This book has really encouraged me to continue to challenge my oldest son (2 1/2) to do just a little more than I really think he can. He usually surprises me and rises to the occasion. He already had the daily chores of making his bed (though I was helping A LOT with this), feeding the dog, and emptying the recycling from under our sink into our large recycling container. I’ve since added the weekly chores of dusting his bookshelf in his room (with our swiffer duster), sweeping the front porch/walk (I found a small child’s sized broom for this), and taking the sheets of his bed to be washed. The best part is that at his age, he is excited to do “big jobs” to help around the house! I think you are so right that the training has to start early so that it is the norm when they reach the years that they are more opinionated and want to spend their free time with friends or media. And, again, a good reminder to let him try to master the tasks on his own without me stepping in to make sure it’s done “right!”
I’ve really been enjoying this book. My oldest is 8 and has seemed to be interested in more responsibility (on his own terms of course!) and in reading this I’ve noticed how much I’ve just put him off to do things myself more efficiently. I’ve definitely been trying to allow him more freedom when he asks to do something helpful and find other ways to have him help out. We’ve been doing regular morning chores now for about a month and this week my 4 year old came up to me having done all of the chores without reminding or help from me. Wow! He’s one, though, that will generally complain about everything I ask him to do, but I’m starting to see a little more initiative. I really liked the part about not having extra credit in real life and the importance of putting forth your best effort the first time. I’m going to try to start working on that with the kids. And so I identify with the author and her issues with getting things done herself. I’ve got a lot to work on along with the kids. :)