A Lesson Learned: Choices

He throws and enormous fit whenever he doesn’t get to choose something.

I’ve been fighting him on this, expecting him to just deal with not getting to always make choices.

Prince Charming and I have been reading a parenting book (which will soon be part of a giveaway) that suggests we let him choose whenever it isn’t a big deal. The two choices you give, as the parent, should each be an option you can live with.

So what if his clothes don’t match. So what if it takes an extra 5 seconds to get his milk in the morning because I have to lift him up to choose his cup. So what if we read the same story over and over again. Those things don’t matter in the long run (or the short run, really).

Everybody likes choices. When we are denied the right to choose something, we tend to rebel. I can imagine it is quite frustrating as a child to not have any say in any matter.

Giving a child the ability to make some choices is validating. It makes them feel that they are worthy.

And when children are given the opportunity to make choices regarding small matters, they will be less likely to fight you when you make choices for them on bigger ones (like safety, respect, and morality).

Even God Himself, the Maker of the universe, has given us a choice (remember Adam and Eve?). He does not require us to love or obey him. He has given us the right to choose.