A Lesson Learned: Approval
I feed on the approval of others. There I said it. It is one of my many weaknesses.
In fact, the constant lack of affirmation was one of the single hardest parts of becoming a stay-at-home mother. I was used to getting tons of affection from my starry-eyed six-year old students. And I received lots of warm fuzzies from their parents as well. Even my sweet principal knows how to make a teacher feel loved.
But then I was at home with this cute little baby. A baby who couldn’t talk and tell me what a great job I was doing stimulating his brain growth and nurturing him to become a productive member of society. Nope. I got smiles. And I got tantrums, poopy diapers, sheer exhaustion, dealing with disciplining, and finally a feeling of “what the heck am I doing?”. Affirmation was something I did not get.
Fast-forward to now. I started this blog about 4-months ago. I LOVE getting {nice} comments on my blog (I got a not-so-nice one recently and it frankly hurt my feelings). Nice comments are like warm, fuzzy hugs. And I love hugs.
I think for about the first month of starting this blog, each new comment made me giddier and giddier. I once again was receiving affirmation from other people besides my sweet husband and Big Brother, who now tells me that he loves me about fifty times a day! I’m loving that about his age and I can’t get enough of his affection–it doesn’t get much better!
As I was flipping through my Bible this week while doing my Bible Study Fellowship lesson, I glanced and saw a scripture I had underlined in my Bible. I don’t remember underlining it. Nor do I remember ever reading it. I’m sure I did at some time because I recognized the ink from my pen, but yet it must have not stuck like it did this time around.
I’m convinced that I glanced at that underlined scripture at that specific time for a reason.
I realize that in context, Paul (the author of Galatians), is “calling out” the Galatians for perverting the Gospel of Christ. He is basically just saying, “Hey, you may not like what I have to say…but too bad. If I were trying to please you, I wouldn’t be serving Christ.”
But it was breathed a whole new life in my life’s context. I believe seeing this scripture was reminder that I should ultimately seek God’s approval–not the approval of others.
Do I live this way? Does each decision I make reflect God’s desire for me? Or am I seeking the “warm fuzzies” I so desperately need from other people?
God is the only one who can ultimately fulfill me. My first and foremost desire should be to please Him!
Yes! Exactly.
We do seek approval from other sources. I'm a stay at home mom with a teaching degree myself and when someone expresses value for my decision to stay at home with my children, I soak it up. On the other hand, when someone criticizes my decision, I react with anger in my heart.
But you are right. The only true approval we need is from God.
Awesome reminder. Thank you!!
Dear Sweet Jenae, You have such a soft and sweet heart and spirit. I love how much you want to do the right thing. I love reading your blog and seeing all the cool things you do with little ones. Amazing! Anytime you need a warm fuzzy…just let me know…I'll be happy to oblige you!! God bless you and all that you do!
Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to read that exact passage today. You are a blessing to God first, your family second and me and my preschool plan book third (lol). Thank you for your candid and generous sharing…
I really believe that I read this post for a reason. Thank you for sharing, this is a poignant reminder that it should always be His approval I seek.
You are a blessing to so many people so try not to ever feel less than one :)
Exactly what I needed during this season of my life.
Just came across your blog the other day and am LOVING it!!
I just found your blog recently. As I read this post I just nodded my head and thought, "I could've written these same words!" I also am an approval addict, am a former first grade teacher, and had a bit of an identity crisis when I started staying home with our daughters and didn't receive that approval anymore. And that verse is one of my favorites, and one I need to be reminded of very often!
I'm new to your blog. Just yesterday, I was in tears on my couch telling my husband about how I miss working, even though I know it's in the best interest of my 4 year old to stay with him.
Just last year, I would have never dreamed of being a momma. And here I am, 7 months into this journey. My son will have my last name soon, but for now, we spend countless hours singing, playing, hugging, running, shouting, building, and loving. Just last year, I had a whole classroom that I decorated and kept clean and ran as smooth as a whistle (if there is such a thing as "smooth" in PreK). I had friends who worked beside me all day every day. They supported me and lifted me up. And now it's just me and D…and though I love it, I miss teaching.
Thank you for this lesson learned. I truly have much to think about. I can be so selfish sometimes, and I love that God uses his people to talk to others…seemingly strangers. We just have a few things in common…kids, crafting, teaching, EC, God.
Anywho – wow. And thanks. I will be blogging my heart out now.
amen!
I think a lot of us (stay at home moms) feel similarly. I often have to remind myself to try not to care so much about what others think!